Think about the last time someone close to you didn’t do what you hoped they would.Maybe they forgot something you thought mattered, handled a moment differently than you would have, or simply weren’t the way you needed them to be in that instant.And somewhere in your head, it made you think “if they really loved me, they’d have done this differently.”Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani threw light on this thought with her wise words, and it is one of the sneakiest ways we end up hurting our closest relationships.
BK sister Shivani (Photo: X)
Quote of the day
People can do what we want them to doAnd be the way we want them to be but it does not mean they love usThere can be someone who is the oppositeOf how we want them to beBecause they carry different sanskars,But they truly love us Let us not equate Love with Expectations
BK sister Shivani
i
What does the quote mean?
This quote reminds us of the common thought when we tend to expect the people around us to think, react, and behave the way we would, according to what we would imagine, our pace, and our priorities.When they do, we quietly credit it to love. When they don’t, we assume the opposite, that they must care less or not enough. BK Shivani’s teaching reminds us to reassess the entire equation, but with a different perspective.People act according to their own ‘sanskars ’, their inherited nature, conditioning, and life experience, not according to how much they love us. Someone can be completely unlike the person you wish they were and still love you fully. Someone else can tick every box on your list of expectations and feel nothing at all.
How is it applicable in daily life?
People often interpret things from their own perspective without understanding the other person’s perspective.We often imagine that there is a “right” way to be shown love, the “right” gestures, the “right” level of attention, often borrowed from someone else’s relationship rather than your own.Therapy-influenced language has also made people sharper at naming what they want from others, which is genuinely useful, but it can slide into treating every mismatch as a verdict on how loved they are.BK Shivani’s teaching, on the contrary a quieter, older alternative, separating the disappointment of unmet expectations from the deeper, harder-to-shake question of whether someone actually cares. They are not always the same thing.BK Shivani’s teaching, on the contrary, is a quieter, gentler way to look at things. It helps you separate the simple disappointment of unmet expectations from the deeper, more painful question of whether someone truly cares. Those two feelings don’t always mean the same thing.
