Children are often judged long before they get the chance to discover their own strengths. A recent Instagram video shared by content creator Karan Sukhdeve has resonated with parents for highlighting how a single moment of faith from a mother can outweigh even the harshest early criticism. In the video, Karan Sukhdeve, an IIT Bombay graduate reflects on his early school years by asking his mother to remember a conversation she once had with his nursery teacher. “Mummy, when I was in nursery, what did Gul Madam say to you?” he asks.
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His mother remembers the teacher’s words clearly. According to her, the teacher had said, “This boy is very stupid. Put him in a corporation school. He won’t be able to study in a private school.” Curious, he asks why the teacher formed that opinion. His mother explains that he rarely looked at the blackboard during class. Instead he found the blackboard “boring” and was far more interested in looking outside the classroom. He then asks his mother how she responded. She recalls telling the teacher, “Let my son be the way he is. Don’t scold him or beat him.”Looking back many years later, the alumnus from IIT Bombay says that even though he had all these initial doubts, he ended up pursuing his studies at IIT Bombay, gaining a merit position in Class 10 and working overseas after that. The success story is an example that has generated discussion not only of achievement but also of the power of parental influence.
Why early judgments don’t tell the whole story
Early childhood is a time of curiosity, learning and discovery. Not all children learn the same way or react to classroom situations identically. Some are focused on their lessons, while others are keenly aware of their surroundings.Through this story we realise that although a teacher’s initial impression of a child is useful, it doesn’t tell us anything about their future. Children who may seem distracted or different just have a way of interacting with their surroundings.Parents must also realise that when people comment on how their children behave, it is better to look past what people say about their capabilities and focus on their interests and developmental pace.
Belief can become a child’s greatest strength
The most memorable part of the conversation was probably the mother’s reaction. She decided not to let any criticism influence her judgment about her son, and instead of judging him she just stood up for him. She didn’t expect him to be modified according to other people’s standards, but she only hoped he would not be criticised or physically punished.Such behaviour can be considered a small step, but it exemplifies an appropriate approach to raising children. When kids feel that their parents trust them, they usually gain the strength to face difficulties and persist in their actions despite everybody else.Encouragement does not consist of neglecting faults and skipping punishment. On the contrary, it is making children feel comfortable and supported.
The impact of expectations
Throughout the discussion, Karan claims that it was because of his mother’s belief in him that he was spared the “Golem effect.” He defines the Golem effect as something whereby people’s negative expectations tend to bring negative results, and positive expectations lead to positive outcomes.Regardless of whether all children adopt the same academic route, the general point is one that many parents can empathise with. The expectations that adults set through words and attitude have the potential to shape a child’s self-image. No parent can be certain about the future success of their child. But what they can control is whether they will build up their children’s doubt or confidence. As is evident in the touching conversation above, believing in a child even when others don’t can turn out to be one of the best gifts that parents can give.
